Love means never having to say "Sorry!"

The first time I heard that was as a child watching the romantic drama Love Story. It was so romantic to my young mind and emotions. I heard something similar between Daryl and Maggie on Sunday's episode of the Walking Dead. The difference between hearing it in the 70s and just a few days ago is being able to identify the "bull" it is. If "bull" is too harsh, then will "crap" due?

Love is all about saying "sorry." Whether you are a Christian or not, the essence of love is to reconcile through an apology when you've hurt the one you care for. In Christianity, we call it repentance. It is necessary to say "sorry" to maintain trust in a relationship when you know you've impacted that trust. Impacting trust can happen in little ways or profound and harmful ways. Little ways can be a simple misunderstanding. If you recognize you've been misunderstood and it caused an offense, love doesn't wait for the offended to come to their senses or get the courage to come to you. Matthew 5:23-24 tells the offender to rush to reconcile. That means acknowledging you may have said or done something and you care more for the person than holding to your pride.

Let's say you are the one offended by someone you love. Perhaps your loved one is unaware that they hurt you. Love doesn't walk around offended. Love offers accountability for the offender. The silent treatment is the wrong answer if you say you love someone. Sharing the offense with others besides the one who hurt you is not the answer. When you love someone, you want to allow them the opportunity to know they've hurt you and reconcile. Matthew 18:15-17 lays out the steps to win those you love back into a healthy relationship.

Love is also willing to cover many sins, 1 Peter 4:8. This doesn't mean love means never having to say "sorry." It does mean you are willing to move past an offense to keep the relationship healthy. It doesn't mean you allow someone to walk over you without them ever facing accountability. It does mean there may be times when a minor offense is done, and you choose to move on for the sake of the relationship. Moving on does not mean meditating on the wrong or bringing it up again.

Far from love, meaning never having to say "sorry," it is ultimately the opposite. Love means rushing to say "sorry." Relationships are not easily reconciled without acknowledgment of wrongs done. Eventually, the one hurt can become bitter, ruminating the offense around in their mind. That is a warning to the one who believes the bull that love means never having to say "sorry." They will begin to grow bitter because they will feel taken advantage of or treated less than loved. I bet everyone reading this would rather someone says, "sorry," or even "my bad," than feel like your hurt isn't recognized.

The best way to reconcile and clear up the harm done is to say "sorry." The better way is to be specific about what has hurt another and ask them, "will you forgive me?" There is no pride in those words. That is humility that reconciles every relationship where people are willing to forgive.