True Repentance isn't Negotiation

My heart would melt when my daughter would come to me and ask forgiveness for a wrong she wanted to right. This was, of course, after she was in trouble for a choice she made contrary to our direction and consequences would be set in place. The sincerity of her repentance was proven when I looked at her and replied, "I forgive you. This time, however, the consequences stand." Her request for forgiveness was so moving I always wanted to remove the consequences. What I didn't want was for her to think all she has to do is repent and that set everything right. Spiritually it does, but in time there may still be consequences to pay, trust to build, bridges to mend, but the path was made clear at the moment of, "please, forgive me?" With tears, before I could even finish the response, she would interrupt, "Mom, I'm not looking for the consequences to go away. I just want our relationship to be right."

There were times with another child who would have a fit if I told her I forgave her but her consequences remained. She would become recalcitrant, seething with anger and yelling, "but I asked you for forgiveness, but, but, but." My heart would melt for a different reason. I realized her apology was not repentance. There was no humility. She was using "repentance' as a way to negotiate.

When we come to God in faith with repentance we give him our lives under his conditions. He gives us His perfect gifts in our repentance. Some times and many times life’s hardships don’t just go away. Our repentance, if true, doesn’t offer us negotiation for manipulation. As if God could be manipulated. In humility and submission we give all we are and all he's given us, back to him. We do not come expecting life's course to go according to our desires and demands. We don't come requiring or negotiating healing, wealth and circumstantial happiness. Many who come to God, naively, expect that it is their way to negotiate their hearts desires.

Repentance brings is right relationship and an offer of a surrendered life. We, simply, want Him and we respond through obedience.

The first daughter exemplified what repentance really looks like. She knew the "perfect thing" offered was being in right relationship with me. If that right relationship brought continued consequences she was ok with those. She knew I could easily lift those consequences, but there must be something “good” for her character that made those necessary to remain. We were in a good relationship and she knew I had good in mind for her.

The second child did not get to experience that because that child only wanted their good, and didn't trust me as the adult for my perfect and necessary work in her life. She only wanted to negotiate and that to land her with what she demanded.

Like my first daughter, we must trust that repentance doesn't make things easy, or take away life's sin filled consequences of destruction and even physical death. We remain in a sinful and filled world. We do have a relationship that gets us through this physical malady and mayhem, if our repentance has the correct motive. Spiritually we are set free to live in right relationship to God. We don't come to God and when the first tough time comes accuse him of not doing "good" by us.

Repentance is not leverage for us to negotiate with Him. We must understand and know we can trust him. When faced with difficulty we shouldn't waste time claiming or negotiating things God may not want to do, take away, or hasn't promised. If our desire in repentance is getting our way, finding a rescue or getting all our dreams come true, we may find ourselves angry when he disabuses us. He never lets us down. He offers only perfect gifts. Even when they come through tough consequences of living in a sinful world or as consequences to our sin. We need to understand that being in a right relationship with him, growing to become more like his Son is the greatest and most fulfilling part of, "Lord, forgive me!"

There was a time when my daughter would come to me and before she asked for forgiveness she would declare, "Mom, I want nothing except for us to be good. I don't even care if you take away consequences. I just want you to know I love you and want this tension gone. Please forgive me for..." She wanted nothing, expected nothing, knew consequences still might be faced, but as long as we were good she handled those with great joy. And she knew she would grow in areas that were not seen right away by others, or herself. If she chose to bear up under them, her refined character eventually would be visible. Most importantly she knew we were good, our relationship was in tact.

True repentance ONLY desires right relationship. There is no place for negotiation. We must understand repentance brings His "perfect gifts," no matter how they look. We can trust him. Repentance is not and will never be for our negotiations.